Consultation Uno
Published by iz on Thursday, August 04, 2005 at 2:14 AM.
I went up to the 6th floor and looked for the clinic. There it was. For a moment I stared at the wooden door. It wasn’t the door that I was staring at. It was the word “Psychiatrist”. Never in my life had I imagined myself talking to one although sometimes I proclaim myself as a psychotic. Maybe my wish had come true.
I looked at Apek. Words just cannot describe how I appreciate him being there with me. I’d almost wanted to ask, “you tak malu ke nak kawin orang gila?” but I decided to keep the dark humour to myself. “Come in, come in,” Nurse O said as though welcoming us to a party. The clinic was small. There was a bench big enough for two. Or maybe three small-bottom ones. While Apek broke the ice with Nurse O, I could hear voices behind the closed doors of the consultation room. Even so, I felt as though I was in a vacuum and no one else was there except for me.
In the consultation room, Dr T assessed my level of depression and prescribed me some medicine for serotonin build-up. In a word, prozac. At that point of time, I felt as though I was a highly unstable ion which could break loose anytime. And I thought, am I that complicated?
Dr T asked whether my memory had worsened. I told her that my memory is pretty much ok except that I tend to be slower in thinking and have difficulty in expressing myself. “Ok, so there’s a retardation lah.” Retardation. At a glance, it seemed quite demoralising. Nevertheless, retardation it was.
Apek told me I appeared lost after the consultation.
Apek: So where shall we eat?
Me: (oblivious to what comes out from mouth) I dunno.
Apek: Ok, let’s eat at Habibie.
Me: Hmmm.. Ok.
Me: (disappointed and grumpy; craves sup buntut from Far East)
Apek: Why?
Me: Hmm, actually I felt like eating sup buntut.
Apek: Why didn’t you say so?
Me: I told you I wanted to eat at Far East after the consultation.
Apek: I asked you where you wanna eat and you said you dunno. So I suggested Habibie.
Me: No, I didn’t say I dunno.
Apek: (convincingly) You did..
Sheesh man. Am I really retarding?
I looked at Apek. Words just cannot describe how I appreciate him being there with me. I’d almost wanted to ask, “you tak malu ke nak kawin orang gila?” but I decided to keep the dark humour to myself. “Come in, come in,” Nurse O said as though welcoming us to a party. The clinic was small. There was a bench big enough for two. Or maybe three small-bottom ones. While Apek broke the ice with Nurse O, I could hear voices behind the closed doors of the consultation room. Even so, I felt as though I was in a vacuum and no one else was there except for me.
In the consultation room, Dr T assessed my level of depression and prescribed me some medicine for serotonin build-up. In a word, prozac. At that point of time, I felt as though I was a highly unstable ion which could break loose anytime. And I thought, am I that complicated?
Dr T asked whether my memory had worsened. I told her that my memory is pretty much ok except that I tend to be slower in thinking and have difficulty in expressing myself. “Ok, so there’s a retardation lah.” Retardation. At a glance, it seemed quite demoralising. Nevertheless, retardation it was.
Apek told me I appeared lost after the consultation.
Apek: So where shall we eat?
Me: (oblivious to what comes out from mouth) I dunno.
Apek: Ok, let’s eat at Habibie.
Me: Hmmm.. Ok.
Me: (disappointed and grumpy; craves sup buntut from Far East)
Apek: Why?
Me: Hmm, actually I felt like eating sup buntut.
Apek: Why didn’t you say so?
Me: I told you I wanted to eat at Far East after the consultation.
Apek: I asked you where you wanna eat and you said you dunno. So I suggested Habibie.
Me: No, I didn’t say I dunno.
Apek: (convincingly) You did..
Sheesh man. Am I really retarding?
